Thursday, 14 January 2016

Dear Saturday morning Harriers

Hello Harriers, 

   This is a letter in response to the whole “leaving on time” debate that’s happening among the 8am Saturdayrunners.  I use a staggering number of bad puns, so if you have word crime sensitivities please avoid reading further on this email.  You’re welcome Steve!

    I ment to send this email sooner but time flies like an arrow and fruit flies like a banana.  The leaving on time issue is beginning to harbour some hard feelings – like when 2 peanuts get into a fight.  One ends up A-salted.  The whole goal is for both sides to be happy – if two silk worms had a race, it would end up in a tie.
   I understand that some habits are hard to break and people need time to adjust.  A circus lion won’t eat clowns because they taste funny.  But people are becoming impatient.  Like how long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.  Saying our thoughts on the issue is like writing with a broken pencil –pointless.  Or wearing a card board belt -  a waist of paper.

   And we don’t want the time-management challenged people driving in an unsafe way to rush to practice like my old friend Eugene.  While running late, he crashed his car and we got to see his Mercedes bend. Please don’t be like Eugene.   We could be like good gardeners and always know the ground rules.  Let’s work hard to help the club function in a way that helps people perform at their best. Like a chicken crossing the road - poultry in motion. 

   I have a vision of our group meeting at a given time and not waiting around.  I’m ashamed to say that I had a boyfriend with a wooden leg once, but he was late too many times so I broke it off.  I wouldn’t want that to happen between me and my beloved Harriers.

   Who knows, it might not be my call to make - What do you call cheese that’s not yours?  Nacho Cheese!  Maybe it’s not my cheese.  My hope is for us to establish a routine that helps our morning runs run smoothly.  When the wheel was invented it caused a revolution!

Have a great week everyone,

Lisa Leskien

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